Personally I can't even use a 2HB pencil and sharpening it well that's an exam in itself! There has been many a time when the mind has caught something of great amusement but the hand can only write it down rather than explode with artistic flair and creativity notching up a je suis charlie masterpiece ...funny but not worthy of a semi automatic assault rifle!

Now I'm anonymous and quite frankly thats not a bad thing however my mind has worked overtime in picturing the likes of Bobby47, Twg, Dippy 'boots' Hippy...should I go on!

So we have characters on this site and we certainly have characters in this forthcoming election so why don't we have a cartoonist to spice things up??

And the Pilot said, 'we'll be landing shortly. Thank you for flying with us. Expect a little turbulence'.

Turbulence my right nut! If that's his idea of Turbulence I want nothing else to do with him!

And so, we began our decent from the sky. The first inkling I got, sat in the back seat watching my bloody offside wing light was that this rotten light, in relation to the runway lights, clearly indicated that at no time were the wings of the Boing 747 Airbus ever in a horizontal position.

Anyway, we hit the ground like a sack of spuds, bounced no more than five times, the Pilot hit the full thrust throttle and within twenty seconds, at an angle close to ninety degrees we shot off like a Saturn Rocket to an altitude of ten thousand feet.

All the loose change from the pockets and purses came tumbling down the aisle, women began to vomit, and I for one don't blame them at all, and for the most part, most people who were still breathing howled, 'Fu.c.king Jesus'.

My tormentor, the bloody wife, had been good enough to dig her long, sharp and well manicured nails into my left wrist and seeing a complete stranger sat to my wife's left clutching her arm for some human comfort didn't bother me one single bit. More than bloody understandable as far as I was concerned!

Then the Pilot said, 'sorry about that aborted landing. The crosswinds are extremely strong. We're going to fly around, get into position and do it all again'.

Imagine the worst fairground ride you've ever been on? Now multiply that by a factor of hundreds and you'll be halfway to understanding how bad this experience was.

Anyway, down we went again. Far more quickly than I would have liked. Again, I sat there watching the wing rising up and down, hearing the muttering of The Lords Prayer and thinking to myself, 'I'm delighted to know that if we do crash, hit the ground like a bullet and begin to explode at least, at the very least, I can console myself knowing I'll have access to a tiny whistle and a flash light that'll alert my rescuers that I'm sat on the back seat'.

As before, fairly predictably in my view, we hit the ground, happily, we only bounced twice and once again the Pilot hit the full throttle and we hurtled upwards at a speed that was no slower than three hundred miles an hour.

Course this time all forms of restraint and human dignity disappeared. After a number of screams, 'we're all going to die', I decided to lighten the mood and shout, 'The Lord is always by your side', at which point my wife hit me and some chap sitting further forward than me shouted, ' get stuffed'.

By this time, speaking for myself, I now no longer could care less. I'd resigned myself to the fact that that very soon I'd be sat on the Lords knee plucking my heavenly harp.

Then the Pilot, who's voice had alarmingly risen by one full octave announced that he was going to give it one last try. Me? I'd have much preferred it if he hadn't and instead chosen to ditch us in the ocean.

Down we went again. Rattling, shaking and the rivets loosening by the second, we again hit the ground but this time we didn't bounce, we didn't hurtle upwards forcing the flesh upon my fat face to contort and we remained upon terra firma.

The ordeal was over? Not for me and not for her. After collecting our luggage we innocently wandered through Customs to be stopped by a lovely lady who represented HMRC who enquired where we'd been and were we in possession of tobacco. I told her we'd been to the Canaries, we'd purchased a few kilos of tobacco as we were entitled to do because of EU legislation.

Then she told me! Despite the fact that the Canaries are a part of a member State, namely Spain, and despite the fact that they are governed by Spain and the Euro is the currency, the Canary Islands are not in the European Union which meant that all tobacco found within my suitcase was to be confiscated. The only good news was that because of the ambiguity and the mistake is a common one made by other poor souls who'd travelled my way I wasn't going to be prosecuted.

My reaction? I swore and I swore until I could swear no more. I begged them, 'have a little pity. Show me some compassion. I've fallen out of the sky three times. Death has been my companion for the past fifty minutes. I've no tobacco in my pocket, show me some human pity and let me keep a tiny handful so that I can smoke on my way home'.

Nothing! They'd give me nothing other than a smile and a little giggle that suggested they'd thoroughly enjoyed their encounter with yet another hapless headbanger who only wanted to smoke a cigarette purchased lawfully within the European Union.

Worse! It's all my fault. The HMRC did their job and now I'm committed to driving to Belgium, lawfully purchasing my tobacco hoping that the bloody boat doesn't hit rocks, sink and I end up in a raft whistling and waving my tiny torch light in the hope that some good soul will drag me aboard and reunite me with Blighty.

Hi, 

I recently wrote this blog post about possible changes to the filming of public meetings in my neck of the woods (Wirral).

When the changes were made last year to filming of local council meetings by the Openness of Local Government Bodies Regulations 2014 , these changes also applied to Hereford too. 

As I think my local Council has interpreted the law and new regulations incorrectly I'm keen to hear of how other councils reacted to the changes to see if any have such a bizarre interpretation of the guide and regulations as Wirral Council do. 

Did the local council in Hereford agree a policy or write any guidance on this matter (if so do you have a link)? Has anyone in Hereford tried to film a public meeting of their local council without problems?

I'm keen to find out. 

Thanks in advice. 

John Brace

Herefordshire CC press release

Hereford store owner convicted of selling illicit tobacco
26-02-2015 04:00 AM GMT

Rekan Gafoor (29) from Coventry was sentenced to a community penalty of 100 hours unpaid work and ordered to pay costs of £800 on Tuesday 24 February at Hereford Magistrates’ Court.

Find it hard to understand the apparent light Sentance , and the high Costs ?

Fire crews Called to Munchies after staff at Yates smelt smoke at 2pm this afternoon. The smoke was caused by a hot plate left switched on. Lucky the quick action by the Yates staff calling the Fire Brigade prevented a major fire. 

Munchies was closed at the time and the fire crew had to brake the locks on the floor to get in with breathing apparatus.

Thanks to Yates for providing an accurate account of todays events.

The outline application for this has been submitted - the numbers have been bumped to 'up to 120'. My comments about scrapping the Folly Lane traffic lights still stand, and I hope at least two of the Tupsley Ward councillors will pick up the idea and demand it as part of the planning gain.

It's Autumn here at Hereford Voice, and it's time to launch Councillor Watch - a new thread to see if any poster can spot a comment from that most rare of species, The Blogging Councillor.

In these rural parts, a comment has not been spotted for several weeks......

A rare Conservative comment was identified over at Hereford Times last week, but sadly, in the more familiar habitat of Hereford Voice, we have not been so fortunate of late.

Regular visitors to the Hereford Voice environment include The Great Crested Chris Chapell, and The Lesser Spotted Glenda. Neither have been observed recently, leading to speculation of an early hibernation. Conserving their strength, perhaps, for the Spring Battles which take place every four years.

We need to encourage them back......please post any tasty morsels you think may tempt them back......or we may think they have become extinct!

Good news!

The council has agreed a lease with Hereford Football Club today, Tuesday 24 February 2015. The agreement and lease are subject to contract and solicitors final comment.

 

The Hereford Football Club group, led by Jon Hale has successfully negotiated the short term lease to run from March 2015.  This means that the club can be registered with the Football Association in time to ensure that Edgar Street sees football back at the ground in time for the 2015/16 season.

 

Cllr Tony Johnson, leader of Herefordshire Council said, “We are delighted to announce Hereford Football Club as the new tenants for the ground.

 

The last few months have been fraught; there has been great uncertainty over the future of the ground and I am personally extremely pleased that we have been able to put an end to that uncertainty.

 

We hope that the historic supporters of the club will welcome the news and support Hereford Football Club with the same passion and fervour as Hereford United.â€

 

Giving their reaction to this news, Jon Hale, from Hereford FC, and Chris Williams, Chairman of Herefordshire United Supporters Trust (HUST) who are the key partner in the new club, said:

 

“We are very pleased to have reached an agreement with Herefordshire Council for a short term lease to allow Hereford FC to become the new tenants at Edgar Street.

 

As a partnership we'd like to thank the local authority for its commitment to seeing football continue at this historic, much loved stadium and we look forward to building a strong relationship with our landlord as the club moves forward.†

 

Central Park is off Central Avenue, behind the Fire Station (or via Daws Road).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2956225/Council-boss-refused-quit-grooming-scandal-gets-600-000-payoff.html

The compensation element of the pay off matches the figure that Bill Norman was grateful to pocket when he left Wirral Council i.e. £151,000.

The public can be reassured that a clean bill of health will be issued to enable this valuable public servant to pick up a suitable role elsewhere.  I'm sure Mr Norman would agree, middle age should be no bar to personal ambition, particularly when one has much value to offer to a sadistic, callous, bullying organisation like Herefordshire County Council.

Admittedly, a £450,000 pension for this lady will not be enough to scrape by on, or to satisfy the lifestyle demands typically enjoyed by the cream of the crop - those go-getters who are rightfully prized, courted and feted as 'the best' public servants.

Oh and failure to act on child abuse is neither here nor there; merely a footnote.  These things tend to happen when you're trying to harmonise a busy work / life schedule.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2956225/Council-boss-refused-quit-grooming-scandal-gets-600-000-payoff.html

The compensation element of the pay off matches the figure that Bill Norman was grateful to pocket when he left Wirral Council i.e. £151,000.

The public can be reassured that a clean bill of health will be issued to enable this valuable public servant to pick up a suitable role elsewhere.  I'm sure Mr Norman would agree, middle age should be no bar to personal ambition, particularly when one has much value to offer to a sadistic, callous, bullying organisation like Herefordshire County Council.

Admittedly, a £450,000 pension for this lady will not be enough to scrape by on, or to satisfy the lifestyle demands typically enjoyed by the cream of the crop - those go-getters who are rightfully prized, courted and feted as 'the best' public servants.

Oh and failure to act on child abuse is neither here nor there; merely a footnote.  These things tend to happen when you're trying to harmonise a busy work / life schedule.

The annual flavours of Herefordshire food festival has been cancelled due to lack of sponsors
& spiraling costs.

You don't see this everyday in Hereford

Must get this off my chest ......

Heard the CEO of the Wye Valley Trust on BBC HW a couple of days ago saying that they are doing their best to be out of "Special Measures " by OCT 15 ......well if my friends experience is anything to go on they have a long way to go ............

Our friend is 81 years old , lives in Wales but was sent an Appointment at the hospital for a small operation for 11am yesterday .

Left home by car driven by her son at 9.30am , arriving at the hospital car park at 1045am , reported to the correct Reception at 1050am ....waited and waited ...wil not be long Mrs !!!! .....was called in at 4pm for the operation ...........arrived back home at 8pm. Forgetting how much the son paid for the privilege of parking think of the stress and strain on our 81 year old friend ........

Will she complain .....no , us old people are of the opinion that we are a hinderance for the hospitals to deal with and if we complain we will be classed as troublemakers with the attached problems .

Our friend also added that she has been treated better in one of our local Supermarkets - that is such a poor indictment of the Caring Profession

I now feel better with sharing this rant - thank you for reading it .

Ross Road 5 minutes ago

I love this, hardly 'Free Parking'

I will never understand this. So they want us all to go to their shopping centre but we have to pay to park. I have just returned from Poland most of the shopping centres offer 'Free Parking' to encourage customers and also put of Free Buses in many places too.

I'm sure we've all been delighted by the deluge of positive stories about Bill Wiggin in the HT - and are grateful to Gary Bills-Geddes for the unquestioning way he reprints press releases from Bill's pr person.

Today's is particulary good.  Bill is seen with a poorly child and quoted:

Quote

Mr Wiggin said: “Charities are an essential part of the UK medical research environment and the science budget is vital to supporting their research.

“By funding the day-to-day running of science facilities, the next government will ensure that researchers can concentrate on finding the next life saving cure."

 

There is lovely photo too.  I don't know how to get it on here but the link is:

http://www.herefordtimes.com/news/11783223.MP_backs_Government_funds_for_heart_research/

Ahh!

By chance, I happened upon this article from another local newspaper elsewhere in the country: The Worksop Guardian.

They too have an MP with a similar interest in helping the sick.  Their MP Kevin Barron is quoted:

Quote

Sir Kevin said: “Charities are an essential part of the UK medical research environment and the science budget is vital to supporting their research.â€

“By funding the day-to-day running of science facilities, the next government will ensure that researchers can concentrate on finding the next life saving cure. If we are to prevent and treat devastating conditions like cardiovascular disease, we need continued investment in pioneering research.â€

 

Sir Kevin is then photographed.

http://www.worksopguardian.co.uk/news/local/dinnington-mp-s-quest-to-protect-live-saving-bhf-research-1-7096948

Great minds think alike. 

The gigantic loads are set to leave Cotswold Airport at Kemble at 7am on Satruday, 14th February and will join the M4 at junction 15. Anyone travelling on the motorway should give themselves plenty of time to get to their loved ones as the plane fuselages make their way along the M4 to Bristol, where they will head up north on the M5 through to Gloucestershire, heading to a breakers in Herefordshire.
 

Exeter Express and Echo