An important date for your diary 

Summer Activities

It's been so long since Herefordshire Council (BB) cut the grass it's even began to grow under the feet of the Hereford Bull in high town.

#cutgrasshfd

http://wirralleaks.wordpress.com/2014/07/19/youre-twisting-my-melon-norman/

We can't achieve anything without something in the kitty to pay for speakers and events to get the message over so come for a large slice of veggie, Caribbean themed reggae pie at the Black Lion on Saturday 19th July 2014.

Please tell your friends and come and join us for a few beers 

I see Bill bloody Norman has been shoving his weight around and stopped me raising much needed funds for the W.G.T.S. Oh we've had the letter that's heavily loaded with The Latin and banning the parachute jump because of public safety issues.

Basically my mate Arthur who fought in at least three World Wars was going to fly me up in his Cessna, reach an altitude of fifteen thousand feet up above Widemarsh Common, I was going to jump out together with an old MFI flat pack wardrobe and during my fall toward terra firma I was going to assemble the wardrobe, shut the doors, deploy the parachute and when I landed, I'd open the doors to be greeted to applause for my part in this remarkable feat on human recklessness. Course, Norman, being all high and bloody mighty reckoned that having a roof on the wardrobe would make deploying the parachute near on impossible and, if I didn't manage to fix the bloody hinges properly to the doors, folk minding their own business living beneath my drop zone would be subjected to untold horrors if ever the flat pack landed on their heads.

That said, Bill has settled an argument with the W.G.T.S and me. I wasn't entirely happy to jump on behalf of We've Got The Syphillis. I'd begged them to change their name to the T.G.T.S. My thoughts were when I opened the doors of the wardrobe I didn't want to be met by folk saying, 'Bravo! You wouldn't think he'd got the Syphillis would you'. I wouldn't want that because I have not got The Syphillis and anyone who says I have is a liar and an embellisher. I have not got The Syphillis!

But, no, they wouldn't agree to 'They've Got The Syphillis' and frankly who can blame them and so the whole fund raising thing has been cancelled because of Bill and his heavy handed approach to good men and women who've behaved in a promiscuous way and through no fault of their own they caught the terrible disease The Syphillis.

I'll tell you now, if Bill ever comes knocking on my door and asks, 'if you catch The Syphillis do you get a bright red itchy rash around the testicals', I'll say, 'How would I bloody know. I have not got the Syphillis and I resent you thinking that I have.' I'd tell him, 'clear off. Go bother someone else. This is a good God fearing family home and when we agree to intercourse with folk we know little about we ensure that we wear a bunch of ribbed strawberry flavoured condoms. Now buggar off and don't come back'.

Mind, I ain't saying Bill has The Syphillis. Not at all. And if Bill reads this pigswill and mutters, 'how does he know about the rash around my testicals', I don't know. It was just a lucky guess.

Two screenings of the award-winning Palestinian film 'Omar' are at the Courtyard on Monday 21 July (6.00pm) and Tuesday 22 July (8.00pm).

Your chance to show solidarity with the oppressed people of Gaza.

And now, some ten years after it first began, they've finally said the unsayable, our rivers and lakes are being stripped of the fish. Oddly enough, they ain't saying that its the work of The Fifteen and they ain't implying that the British are to blame, which, given my hostility to this European Union is a load of worry off as far as Im concerned.

Mind, they didn't mention the industrial scale slaughter of the Swans, the duck species and anything else that crawls, walks and scurries about upon this great and wonderful green island of hope and dreams. If they catch it, they'll eat it and there's little that can be done to stop it.

Why would anyone wish to catch and eat a barbel? The Chubb, the carp and all the other varieties of Course Fish don't escape the cooking pot either. The Pike for example. A thoroughly nasty predator if anything I say is worth a blind bit if notice. This particular creature of God is seen as the most tasty and in some areas that once lay beyond that Berlin Wall that was torn down, the Pike is a delicacy.

Why did the ever start eating the fish in the first place? Because they were starving. Any money that their state ever earned was invested in a missile that was aimed at me. Now, these areas that once lay beyond that wall have few fish in the rivers and lakes. They've all been eaten and unless something dramatic happens, the same fate awaits us.

Can you stop it? No you bloody can't. It's much to late. No matter how many times you tell them to stop killing the fish, no matter how many family bar b q's you interrupt on the Wye that sees hordes nibbling away upon the flesh of these poor creatures, they completely ignore you, carry on and laugh at the futility of your personal protest. And they're right, it is pointless.

We, at the Hereford District Anglers Association, have all had to have photographs affixed to our permits. Why? Because the Bailiffs discovered that one licence was being shared by dozens of them who all came down to the river to catch their supper. It's been going on for years.

The local supermarkets now sell Coarse fish because the desire to eat these fish is so high and profitable. Does it help? A little perhaps, but why pay for something when its free from our rivers and lakes.

The shops! The ones who sell the illicit booze to The Fifteen. They sell Barbel as well. The Bailiffs have found them in the freezers and been told, 'they were caught in our Country'. Despite the fact that they've no bloody fish left swimming in their Country, nothing can be done to stop this relentless onslaught upon our wonderful way of life that is 'Catch And Release'.

And this stuff Im shovelling out. It's no urban myth. It's no piece of tittle tattle that's spread, takes on a life of its own and becomes distorted and out of control. It happens every single day of the week. You sit there, they catch a fish, they drag it onto the bank, hit it and kill it, into a carrier bag and away they go to eat their supper.

Course, sometimes they like to eat something different. They arrive with an odd looking stick with a wire noose on it. Then, they start throwing bits of bread onto the water gently encouraging the bird to paddle ever closer to its fate that is, the cooking pot and their stomach. There is no end to it. Nothing you can say changes any of it. It's become a pointless excercise. Better to sit there, mind your own business and simply accept its a cultural thing and they're bloody hungry.

Sadly, I've seen the British kids doing it and when you challenge them they tell you, 'we are going to sell it to the fruit pickers. They love it'. The whole thing is out if control and its taken near on ten years to get the authorities to become brave enough to say, 'we have a problem'.

I am compiling a list of organisations with links to the council, many of which appear to be duplicating the work of one another and the council and involving in many cases the same names popping up at the helm. Feel free to add any you know or have come across.

12:56pm Tuesday 8th July 2014 in News

POLICE investigating a serious assault in Hereford want to speak to a group of teenagers who may be able to help them with their enquiries.

A 27-year-old man needed surgery after his jaw was broken in two places after being punched near the Lichfield Vaults pub in Church Street.

The assault happened after he earlier refused to buy the group of six alcohol.

The teenagers are described as being aged 16 or 17 and wearing jeans and trainers.

Anyone with information about the assault that happened at 12.30am on Saturday, June 14 can call police on 101, quoting incident number 425-s-150614.

Alternatively, you can call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555111.

Hereford Times

I see that the Grapes is up for sale.

I have just read this article in the HT.

Leisure property specialists Fleurets is asking for offers in the region of £365,000 for the Grapes Tavern.

The firm states that the venue, on the corner of East Street and Church Street, makes around £497,000 in annual sales.

It adds that it remains a traditional pub, but a 'value for money' food service and a 'coffee shop' area are more recent and increasingly important sources of trade.

A basement bar, with its own timber servery, stone walls, flagstone flooring and toilets, is also provided, as is a a cellar storing beer and wine.

Three bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a large office are part of the living accommodation, with a roof terrace with tables and chairs adding to the venue's character.

And when they come a knocking and say, 'please vote for me', you need to think long and hard about who should win your vote and who you'll opt for in the polling station booth.

They'll all say this, that and the other to win your favour and, moreoften than not, you'll cast your vote for the one who you think is the more open, honest and frank with you. That's what we want really. Honesty from the Candidate. But of course, finding a Candidate who you know is being honest with you ain't that easy. Often, after they've left your threshold you'll be muttering, 'can I trust this person', and 'I didn't like the look of him. His eyes were set to close together'.

So, how can you be sure the person you are voting for is being honest with you? Well, today, after contributing to another topic, it suddenly struck me how easy it would be to establish whether or not a politician is being honest with you.

Masturbation! Yep, the thoroughly unpleasant act that all people engage in when a wicked and erotic thought races through their mind. Everyone does it. They do! They sneak off to some private place and masturbate and so, given that everyone does masturbate, when the local Candidate tips up on your doorstep begging to be given your vote, you ask that single question to establish whether or not they are being honest with you.

You say, 'I've listened carefully to all you've said, I like the look of you, your eyes look fine to me, do you masturbate? If that person says, 'Never. I say never! I'd sooner cut me bloody hand off with an axe than engage in that sort of activity', you tell him to, ' be gone. Clear off you dishonest person'.

Now, the Candidate that says, 'I'm so pleased you've asked me about this. Yes I do. In fact, more than I should do if the truth be known', then he's the one who wins your vote.

This is the Candidate who you should vote for. Why? Because he's displayed honesty and despite the fact that he clearly is mentally unwell,he's displayed a willingness to say anything to win your vote.

Mind, don't go voting for the Candidate who staggers up your path, knocks on your door and begins masturbating in front of you. Don't put up with that. Tell him to clear off and call for the Constable demanding that steps are taken to prevent this politician returning and masturbating again.

I wouldn't put up with that! If any politician ever tips up on my doorstep masturbating in front of me Im going to take the matter further. I'll be damned if I put up with that.

After a lot of complaints over the years and more than a few e-mails from me the petrol pumps at Tesco Express
in Ledbury Road are finally to be replaced at the beginning of July.