Harry Bramer

[dippyhippy]

Many thanks Magic!

 

I have ordered 8!

 

One for every day of the week, and a glitzy "going out" one with sparkly bits!

The sort of balaclava you might see on Strictly Come Dancing.....should balaclavas ever make it onto the show!

 

I decided on subtle shades,( being a kindly soul, I wouldn't want Harry going out in anything too unsightly!) so, beige, mushroom, taupe, more beige and soft greens.

 

There is one in day-glo yellow though ...safety first!!

[bobby47]

An ode or poem Dippy. Titled The Old Boys Working Home or, if its simpler, Harry's got a lovely body. Thank you old friend.

[dippyhippy]

           Ode To Harry Bramer.

 

I've met a chap called Harry,

You all know who I mean,

Eyes too close together,

The neatest haircut ever seen.

 

Besides the eyes and haircut,

Harry has problems with his ears,

They don't appear to listen,

They don't know how to hear.

 

Oblivious to our protests,

Harry's convinced himself he's right,

And ploughs on with his wretched plan,

To swap The Boys Home Site.

 

I've read all of his excuses,

They only make me cringe.

He needs to listen to the public,

And get both his ears syringed!!

 

     By D. Hippy.

[bobby47]

Brilliant Dippy! Thanks.

[dippyhippy]

No worries!!

Always happy to oblige!

[magicroundabout]

Inspired!

 

So funny 

[Cambo]

That is very good dippy very well done indeed! Lol

[dippyhippy]

Many thanks for the kind words, Magic and Cambo!

Much appreciated.

 

The Angry Man.

 

There was a very angry man,

Who worked himself into a lather,

Who it was, I could not say,

As he was in a balaclava!!

 

 

That last verse is for you, Cambo!! Hope you don't bump into any more angry men!!

[Cambo]

Ha ha thank you dippy I feel very honoured! :O)

[SON OF GRIDKNOCKER]

CCTV - that's what you need mate.  Mounted on the chimley stack.  And have monitors in every room, going 24/7.  And a Rotweiller in a kennel by the front gate.  And a notice on the gate saying: 'No Hawkers, No Circulars and CERTAINLY no violin case salesmen!'  That should about do it.

 

Because, King Bobby, if you cast your Prozak-addled brain back a few months, wasn't it that Greta Garbo who called round one night, seeking your manly consolation?  Hanging by her crimson-painted fingernails from your bedroom window cill wearing a diaphonous negligee, I seem to recall.  And you never let her in!

 

Well this way you'll know when the Rotweiller starts barking and that 12' hole covered with a piece of green Astroturf half-way down the front path suddenly goes 'woosh'. whether it's Harry or Greta.

[bobby47]

I see from the Hereford Times Harry's still ploughing ahead pulling together this great deal for the people of Hereford. Fair enough!

So be it!

Last night I was laid in bed , again, watching the execution of Saddam Hussein trying to become sexually aroused when there was a tap, tap, tap on the window. I thought, 'funny! Tap, tap, tap on the window?' I said to the wife, 'were in bloody Cyprus. Who'd be tapping at this time of night'. She said, ' it'll be bloody Greta Garbo or that Scandinavian strumpet Britt bloody Eckland'

I shouted, 'clear off Eckland, you gorgeous blonde beauty. Go back to bloody Rod Stewart we ain't at home to you and your bloody lustful wanton desires'.

'Its me' came the reply, 'it's Harry and Im clinging onto your drainpipe'. Shrugging me shoulders and accepting of the fact that both men and women can't keep their bloody hands off me, I said, ' Harry bloody who?'

Course, the reply was immediate, 'Harry the head. Harry the wearer of a balaclava. Let me in. Lets make love and despite the fact that neither of us has a womb, lets make a baby'.

Course, then I got bloody angry didnt I!. I said, 'bloody hell. Im on me bloody rotten holidays and the last thing I want is to hear you clinging onto my drainpipe demanding manly love in a foreign land. Clear off. Go bother someone else. I'll be damned If I disturb my holiday schedule to fulfill your desires to be made love to by me.'

Course, as he scurried back down the pipe, I caught a glimpse of his balaclava and his tiny briefs that did nothing to hide the fact that this Councillor has a lovely body. And it is a lovely body. You'd be an odd sort if you didn't acknowledge that despite the head, the eyes, the bloody haircut and the personality, Harry has a lovely body.

When's this bloody Councillor going to change his mind? Come on Harry. Throw me a bone. With the flick of the wrist, a blink of an eye and the tap, tap, tap upon my keyboard, I can make your head acceptable and your eyes further apart than they'd need to be apart. Save the Working Boys Home Harry and lets end this madness that sees you and I becoming the centre of some lurid and disgusting affair that'll only end one way. You and I in bed together!

[bobby47]

And I'll tell you another thing Harry. I could just as easily get one of us pregnant. Despite the fact that neither of us has a womb for the featus to gestitate, its not beyond my imagination for you and I to begin some sick and sordid tryst, one of us becomes pregnant with child and your political career is ruined because you've delivered a love child or, as my old man used to call me, 'you little bar.stard'.

Come on Harry. Lets end this madness now. Build the Firestation that we don't need elsewhere. I know your reading this pigswill. I've got your number. I know how you think. I've got you scared. I have! You're desperate not to end up in bed with me.

Save the Working Boys Home!

[dippyhippy]

Brilliant.....and just a tad unsettling!!

 

I can't wait for the next installment of "Bobby's Holiday Romance!"......and I bet Harry can't either!!

 

Just one last thing, the balaclava.......was it the soft green one??

I am given to understand it brings out the colour of his eyes beautifully!!

[bobby47]

Dippy, you find it unsettling! Spare a thought for Harry and me. How do you think we feel? Unsettling ain't the word I'd use. Well I'll be damned if its me that has to carry this child for nine months and it ain't going to be me rubbing oil into my midriff to rid me of the stretch marks.

The only way it'll end up with me in the labour room accompanied by two nurses screaming, 'push you fat fool' will be if Harry registers on these pages and writes me the role of Mummy. And if he does, and he's sneaky enough to do it, I'll write myself out of the dreadful delivery by having an abortion. It ain't going to happen. Never. He's having this child. If he's reckless enough to take part in this act of love without insisting I wear a condom then he deserves all he's going to get.

[Cambo]

Oh bobby you may want to reconsider having Harry's bastard child, as I was informed today that he's just sold his place for £3million?!

[dippyhippy]

Three million quid??

 

Have I read that right, Cambo........Three MILLION quid ??

 

Hells Bells!!

 

You can buy an awful lot of balaclavas with that sort of money!!

[bobby47]

Good Lord! Three million quid. What I wouldn't do for three million quid. No form of depravity or humiliation would be to low for me to endure if some fool was ready to give me three million quid. I tell you buddy, I'd sit patiently in a waiting room the next time Kerry Katona gave birth to her latest 'love child' and I'd eat the placenta. I would. The whole lot and I'd howl with merriment as I swallowed each scrap knowing that I was soon to become the recipient of three bloody million quid.

I'd sit on a tennis umpires chair in the middle of High Town on a Saturday afternoon naked masturbating eating a custard slice oblivious to the heckling, the insults and the shouts of derision that were clearly pleading with me to climb down the steps, cover my nakedness and hide my erection that caused elderly women to cry, ' you fat t.wa.t have you no shame'.

What I wouldn't do for three million quid! Bloody Bramer!!!

Why is it he ends up with three million quid and I get hit in the face with a frying pan? There's gotta be some reason behind it all. It's not just chance. He rides the wave of success, wealth and riches beyond our wildest dreams, whilst I shovel out this codswallop, without pay and not a single chance of ever escaping the gutter of mediocrity that I currently languish in.

Bloody Harry Bramer. Him and his unusual and unique head that causes me such despair!!!

[Denise Lloyd]

Our very best reporter Bill Tanner has reported that "the future for nearly 5000 acres of farmland and woodland in the county lies with a single councillor".  The Councillor responsible for deciding "the future of 50 farmed tenanted smallholdings and woodland divided into 14 separate parcels of land" is none other than the cabinet member for contracts and assets Harry Bramer.  Now I wonder how he will handle this one.  The cost of appraisal prior to HB making a decision will be £50k.

[dippyhippy]

This is just so wrong.

 

One man should not have all this power.

 

Where are the checks and balances, that should be in place??

[Cambo]

Herefords very own Godfather Don dirty Harry sure to make us an offer we can't refuse or more likely not have a say in?

[megilleland]

I like to look at the company information sites for information about these people. It sometimes comes up with links to other well known local characters and local organisations. I just wish I had the money to read some of their deposited documents. 

.

For example:

Hereford Society for aiding the Industrious (Not to be confused with the Herefordshire Cabal for aiding themselves) referred to here:

 

Cllr Harry Bramer here linked to Herefordshire Housing and so on.

[Denise Lloyd]

Yes I was looking at the names of past and present directors of Hereford Futures yesterday.  (Well it was raining!) It gets quite fascinating when you see what other connections they have and what other companies they are directors of.  Just having a look at one your links Meggieland the names I saw yesterday are on here as well.  I must admit Tarrington is a very busy busy place.  It is almost incestuous!!  

[Cambo]

I see Harry's having the herefordshire country fair @ his gaff caradoc court sellack on August 3rd!…

 

 

 

[Aylestone Voice]

Cambo - before you get everyone excited and descend on the place with placards

It is not his place - it belongs to a Major Patrick Darling

Harry only built the new houses on the lane

[Ubique]

From Major Darlings profile

 

Site Director of The Herefordshire Country Fair (1999 to present). The Fair raises around £20,000 per annum for local charities. He was also Chairman 2005-08 and has hosted the event for three years at his home. It will be held at Caradoc again this year (2014) http://www.herefordshirecountryfair.co.uk/aboutUs.html

[Cambo]

& I was indeed half way thorough painting lots of anti Harry bramer slogans on placards ready for Sunday too Aylestone voice!!

Oh well I shall just have to keep them by, ready to bring out for the elections next year instead!!!!

[Cambo]

Just had a look on council website to see where old Harry is living these days having sold his rudhall manor gaff but he's not listed his new address! Only a correspondence address?

 

Contact information

Correspondence address:

c/o Brockington

35 Hafod Road

Hereford

HR1 1SH

 

So is Harry still living in the county??

[dippyhippy]

I hate to have to be the one to break this to you, Cambo - but have you considered that Harry might be avoiding you??

 

Perhaps he's none too keen on visitors.......!!!!

[Cambo]

Lol well that maybe dippy or he's trying to avoid someone else knocking on his door if he's got anything to do with wot is going on down @ Edgar street?

I don't know if it makes a difference or not but he maybe staying @ clearwell castle which is in Gloucestershire?

[dippyhippy]

I went to see Santa at Clearwell Caves a couple of years ago......at least, I HOPE it was Santa, and not Harry in disguise!!