Am I An On Line Bully?

[bobby47]

Makes you think doesn't it? It's got me thinking about the way in which my transmitted words might be interpreted by the person I'm lampooning. Am I hurting the feelings of someone?
On another thread my friend Ubique implied that perhaps I was harsh lampooning someone I didn't know and hadn't met before. Now, I could have concluded, 'blast your eyes Ubique' and not given the matter a backward glance or I could have given the matter a little thought, which is exactly what I've done. I've had a good long hard look at the way in which I transmit my thoughts and views on this, that and the other and my conclusion is, 'perhaps I've become an online bully'.
I've taken the pi.ss out of them all. Nothing has ever made me think about the impact my words have on other people. Me? I can lampoon everyone because it comes very easily to me and, to be fair to myself, it's of no consequence to me if I get bitten back. My attitude is, I give it and so I should be able to take it.
I don't take things personally and throughout my tenure of 'tapping' I've kind of assumed that nobody else takes it seriously and therefore no one could possibly be offended by the drivel and nonsensical codswallop I shovel out. Of course, if I'm wrong, and my words can hurt, then I guess I've become an online bully. Without knowing or fully realizing it, I may have evolved into someone who's been unkind.
Course, that's not what I want for myself. I wouldn't want any person to be hurt or offended by anything I've transmitted. I've always hoped that folk would mutter, 'bloody idiot', dismiss whatever I've said and perhaps conclude that it's healthy to lampoon the great and the good who have power over our daily lives.
And that's where it began for me. Realising that no matter what we thought, said or felt, they, the ones who held sway over us, took absolutely no notice. And so, I began to lampoon them all knowing that satire and taking the pi*% is one thing 'they' hate. They cannot stand being mocked and laughed at and because I knew I could do it, I did it, never thinking that perhaps my words could possibly hurt another.
I don't want to be an online bully. I don't want people to think of me as an online bully and I don't wish to carry the burden of knowing my words have hurt another.
Mind, how do you stop possibly hurting another person who is in a position of authority. Do you stop lampooning them? If you do, do you risk giving them Carte Blanche to do whatever they like without giving 'us' a backward glance because we no longer laugh at them. Me? I don't know anymore. All I know is my words may have hurt the feelings of others and I do not want that.
So, have I become an online bully? I think I may have. I ain't certain but I think there's a good chance that by lampooning our leaders for as long as I have, I've unwittingly slid into being someone who can hurt another's personal feelings and that ain't a good thing.
Makes you think doesn't it!

[Pete Boggs]

Bobby, your heart is in the right place as your posts on Rose Tinted Rags show, but at the end of the day nobody gives a monkey's about the rest of it. You can issue fight challenges to the likes of Alastair McNeil and Bill Norman until the cows come home but we all know nothing is going to happen. Possibly your energies might be better spent directed to where they can make a real difference rather than giving it the large one on the internet where nobody really gives much of a toss.

[bobby47]

And don't be thinking I'm being self indulgent about 'me' and my role within the tapping community. It's not that at all and it's really nothing to do with Ubique putting me in my place.

I've been following stories of online bullying and how desperately sad it makes some people. I've also read the threads on Bulls Banter concerning Hereford United's current plight and the comments are extremely harsh and hurtful. And so, it's this background of thinking that's made me have a look at myself and ask this question.

Within our community, the on liners, you can get swallowed up in the whole thing and lose sight of your own personal responsibility which is, 'not to hurt another's personal feelings'. I've been going through our membership and reflecting upon all who post within these pages and I'm the only one who you could say is or could be an online bully.

Course, if that's the case, how do you stop yourself? You change your writing style. You stop doing what you've been doing, learn and tap more responsibly so that nobody is hurt by your comments. Mind, given the curse that is my mind and my imagination, it's easier said than done.

[GrowlTiger]

Bobby – when it comes to tapping about certain council officers I don’t think these people are capable of feeling hurt (unless they can claim compensation for it).  They deserve to be lampooned as hidden amongst your ranting is truth and they hate truth. 

[GrowlTiger]

I should have clarified what I meant by my comment about compensation.  Earlier this year it was leaked that someone in Wirral Council received £45,000 compensation from the Council for “hurt feelingsâ€.  Our wonderfully open and transparent Council won’t say who it was or why they felt hurt or by whom they were hurt.   Residents feel hurt that their taxes are being used in this manner, but we can’t claim compensation for it.  All we can do is to keep tapping.

[Denise Lloyd]

Has anybody legally challenged you Bobby or said steady on mate that's a bit harsh - nuh.  After all these years of you tapping away I think most people who read our hideously mind bogglingly boring mendacious and whatever else that takes your fancy comments take anything that is a little borderline with a pinch of salt.   Sticks and stones and all that.  Just keep going to Church every Sunday and repent your sins.   

[flamboyant]

Bobby I don't often disagree with your posts in fact I don't think I ever have but sorry I have to on this occasion.

 

You are definitely NOT a bully, if I agreed that you were I would have to admit that I am one too and I will never do that!

 

I have seen and have suffered bullying and harassment by the Council administration and I make no apologies for standing up for myself and others like me!

 

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse,intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power.

 

There is no imbalance of power Bobby the Council administration hold ALL the power.

 

The posters on the forums me included are retaliating against the countless mistakes heaped on us by the Tory administration, because they believe they know what's best and won't listen! If I thought for one minute I could knock on Tony Johnsons door and get him to listen to me trust me I would. I am merely retaliating against the perceived power, lies and maladministration ( bad, inefficient, or dishonest management of the affairs of an organisation)

 

Statements made by Cllr Johnson

 

IN the story ‘Council leader in spat with opposition over market’ (Hereford Times, July 24), you stated that Cllr Tony Johnson shot down Mark Hubbard (It’s Our County) for suggesting the Tory-controlled council had failed to deliver on promises to rejuvenate High Town.

 

For groups set up specifically to oppose these developments it must be galling to see how successful and popular they are. No doubt, like Cassandra, they will now revert to predictions of future gloom and refuse to enjoy the successes. How sad.

 

Council leader Tony Johnson agreed saying; "A positive from the Hereford Times. That would be a first."

 

"Be quiet! You speak because I allow you to speak!"

 

In my opinion I believe the majority of posters do so because they are retaliating against the administration, it's not personal. Anyone feeling that they, their loved ones or their communities has been attacked has every right to fight back! Tony Johnson is not opposed to critiquing the public or shooting down the opposition, should everyone sit back and take it?

 

an eye for an eye A law which sanctions revenge; to repay in kind. This line from Exodus 21:24 is part of a longer passage in which the Lord sets forth the judgments and laws according to which the people are instructed to live

fight fire with fire To argue or fight with an opponent using his tactics or ground rules; to counter an attack with one of equal intensity.

Having said all of the above I will in future choose my words more carefully. One thing to remember though when people are criticising others is to ask yourself, do I know this persons story? How have they been affected, I wouldn't want anyone to walk a mile in my shoes!

 

I await the lambasting!

[flamboyant]

Ops posted twice! Deleted sorry..

[dippyhippy]

Good Lord Bobby, have you been on the gin??? This isn't like you - there is no way you could ever be described as a bully, not ever. There is a huge difference between political satire, and the type of abuse which is sadly all over the internet.

 

You lampoon, you mock, you take the mick....but it is all larger than life! If folks can't see your ramblings for what they are, then I think they are somewhat lacking in the sense of humour department. Yes, we laugh at "them".....but considering what "they" do to us and our county, I think that's a  pretty fair exchange!

 

You have much empathy for the "little guy" the man in the street, and very often you say what many others would probably like to - and you do it in your own inimitable fashion.

 

You're also a great friend, who gives good advice and that itself is worth its weight in gold.

 

Don't give up the tapping....your rants help keep me sane!!

[Ubique]

I have NEVER said that Bobby is a Bully , what I have said is that certain Posters say things which are said with no evidence at all - some poster have insulted people without any knowledge of that person - if that's OK by other Posters it's not what I wish to do or signed up to , therefore I am are quite happy to move on into the sunset. - never to be heard of again .

 

The below is an example ..........It's from our posts relating to Why do we never see a Police Officer in High Town during the day.........

 

The Police are exactly the same as our Council. There is no difference. They're all singing from the same hymn sheet. When Nick Semper chose a different route from our Roger and decided to try and climb the pole to vast wealth and a pension you'd strangle my wife for, he had to sit before the great and the good and delivered a pile of rubbish that was sweet on the ear, easy to swallow and was dressed up in a lovely shiney corporate frock.

The Police stopped promoting 'thief takers' the day they decided to model themselves on the bloody New Labour business model that's seen Bretherton, Hughes and all the other sycophantic fools dug themselves in and beneath our flesh.

I promise you two things. Firstly, its true and secondly Nick Semper has had to play a game he and others have no control over. They simply sit there spouting bollock's and accept that this is their reality and if they don't do it someone else, equally as ambitious, will jump into the seat and say whatever they want to hear.

Every single public service is infected and it'll be sometime yet before the wheel turns and we get back to seeing 'operational heavyweights' leading our troops rather than these dull and uninspiring idiots that are churned out ready to do whatever they are asked to do, which is, in the main, to be fu.ck.ing passionate about whatever the latest gimmick is.

Ain't it truly desperate!

 

 

From Ubique ...

 

I have met the person who is being described and this is my opinion ...........

 

I feel that that before you read the summary I should give you my opinion of Insp SEMPER - he has been critised and in my humble opinion verbally abused by some posters, probably who have not even met him. I formed the impression that the Inspector is a very hard working Officer who cares for this City and it's residents. He is not a "flyer" but had worked his way up the promotion ladder the hard way . I came away thinking that this Officer joined the Police for the right reasons and is a dedicated Officer - I liked him .

 

So form your own opinion ... In my opinion this is not the site to get personal with people you have never heard of or meet.

 

I am not setting myself up as some sort of censor - I just believe and have fought for all over this mixed up world for honesty and all people are equal ( as possible ). I am not an idiot and therefore do know that we are , for various reason are not all equal - but we should strive to make a better world without any sort of bullying or abusive words .

 

I accept fully that my post on the mentioned post has received some very supportive posts .... I believe that the Posters concerned do realise that perhaps they over stepped the mark

[flamboyant]

Ubique, I haven't read the post you're referring to or contributed to it as far as I can remember, please correct me if I'm wrong? I responded to Bobby's post on a personal level and to be honest I didn't even think about you after I read the first paragraph. Please accept my sincere apologies if you felt anything I said was directed at you.

 

Please be assured that nothing I've said is directed at you Bobby or anyone else it's my own reflections on Bobby's post.

 

I certainly never thought Bobby's post was being directed at you, from what I know about Bobby he was merely reflecting and asking the rest of us to think and reflect, well that was my understanding. I would actually like to thank you for making me think, not something I generally do before I fire off my rants!! I can't promise I won't hurt someone's feelings, I wish I could, but I will certainly give it more thought in future.

 

 

My warmest regards to you

[dippyhippy]

Afternoon Ubique!

 

I have read and re-read, and honestly think that Our Bobby is reflecting on his general writing style.....I know that I have previously chided him for being a tad over the top, but I wouldn't change him, and I know you wouldn't either!

 

Writing styles often really "identify" a poster...I would know Bobby's anywhere!

 

If I could make a comparison -  writing styles and well know puppet characters.....I am more like Fozzie Bear from the Muppets.....Biomech is Animal, Two Wheels and Megilleland are Bert and Ernie , you are probably Kermit!! etc etc.

 

Bobby....well, he's more Spitting Image isn't he????

 

It's good that we can disagree, and even pull each other up now and again, without there being any hard feelings.

[bobby47]

Ubique/ David, Noooooo! This has nothing to do with what you've said my dear old friend. I'm glad you wrote your piece because it made me think. And I've been thinking about this issue long before you delivered your reflections on my post about Inspector Semper. I welcomed it old friend. Truly, this has nothing to do with you. It's about me and how I conduct myself on these forums.

For example! Harry Bramer and his head. There's nothing wrong with Harry's head. It's a lovely head but I have chosen to be critical of its shape. How does Harry feel when he reads rubbish that implies I don't like his head. It could well be that it hurts him or his family and I don't want that.

Inspector Semper! I've never met him. I don't know him and unless I've nicked the Nanteos bowl, it's unlikely I ever will. How would he or his family feel if my words reached their eyes. Would he or they be offended? That's all this is David. Me having a good look at myself and questioning my conduct. That's it Dave. Nothing else, so please my friend, don't think for a single moment that you've I some way had a negative impact upon me and my writing style. I've only had 'good' from you and that'll never change so put this down and simply forget it.

I've been thinking about this issue for a long time. It began when I was on Facebook and I questioned the diet of a leading council officer who i claimed 'must have a high level of cholesterol in their blood and they'd become more swine than human. Following that post, my inbox was full of complaints and it was this that first got me thinking about how my words can be taken.

Please David. This ain't your fault so put it down and forget it old friend.

My warmest regards.

[GrowlTiger]

Help! - dial 999 all those in Hereford.  The Council has stolen the real Bobby 47 and replaced him with a town hall apple-polisher!

[dippyhippy]

They would love to incarcerate him on the top floor of Plough Lane.....surrounded by Hoople logos and management speak!!

[Glenda Powell]

I am someone who knows and have worked alongside Nick Semper for sometime in my role as councillor, I have always found him to be honest, a good officer and someone who cares deeply about Herefordshire. I know that he has come onto this site many times to see what is being said but has never commented on the site one way or another.

[Mick]

I am someone who knows and have worked alongside Nick Semper for sometime in my role as councillor, I have always found him to be honest, a good officer and someone who cares deeply about Herefordshire. I know that he has come onto this site many times to see what is being said but has never commented on the site one way or another.

 

He is a good guy but I think you might be wrong there CVP about him never commenting on this site and that is all I am saying on the matter.

[bobby47]

Well I'll be damned if my cousins from The Wirral see me as an apologist. I wish I'd never posted this thoughtful rubbish. Clearly, being thoughtful and considerate is not something expected of me. Wish I'd kept me bloody thoughts to me bloody self. Well I'll be damned if I ever step forward again and offer up some intelligent and thoughtful thinking, commit it to the ether and expect a sane and rational debate. From hereon,I'm sticking to what I know. Fiery rhetoric, nonsensical pigswill and a fair measure of scorn aimed at those who's faces I don't like.

That'll sort it out. That'll get them thinking. That'll win me favour back up The Wirral. The Council can get stuffed and if I wasn't so miffed that Ubique is upset, I'd take the bloody trouble to explain why I think the Council can get stuffed. But, seeing as I can't be bloody bothered, for obvious bloody reasons, I'll keep me bloody thoughts to myself for the rest of this day.

[Ubique]

Cllr Glenda , thank you - my opinion of Nick Semper is that he is a good honest person doing, from what he has told me ,and from what I have learnt from other sources , a very difficult job . We need more like him in authority. I gave my full opinion of him on the post re Why are there no Police Officer in High Town during the day

 

Bobby and I have drunk together , in fact he owes me a drink which I know he will buy me on our next meet . We differed on two of his posts whereby , with out knowing a person slagged him off - I took exception to that and here we are . It's now all sorted . I never considered it bullying , in fact having met Nick Semper I am sure that at least 6 ft 3 in he has never been bullied !

 

As far as Bobby and me - what's been said had to be said by both of us , we have moved on and as far as I am concerned and I believe Bobby , the matter is closed

[dippyhippy]

Ubique my friend!!    You, and others are completely missing the point of this thread!!

 

It's not about Nick Semper.

 

It's not about anybody saying Bobby is a bully - because we know they didn't and it wasn't intended to come across that way!!!

 

It's about on line comments generally, and how they can be interpreted - and we've had some worrying interpretation on this very thread!!

 

Can you unintentionally upset folks with your comments and thoughts?? How far is too far before the line has been crossed??

 

This "on line" or virtual bullying IS a very real problem which causes so much misery.

 

This is the only forum I contribute to, with the odd foray back to HT, so I know little about what other sites are like. Are they not moderated??

[GrowlTiger]

Welcome back “our Bobbyâ€.  Or, should I use the familiar “our Bobsâ€.  Thank goodness we didn’t have to resort to sending in the SAS  to find you bundled up in a cellar in Plough Lane.  We so love your tapping. Please don’t change.

 

I have by some weird exchange of key tapping become your long lost cousin on the Wirral but did you know that the Moby Dick in West Kirby has become The Hickory Smoke Place?  Just awful.  But, the marine lake is still a lovely walk to go around and sometimes we have film crews parking in the Morrison’s car park and filming episodes of ‘Olleyoakes or that weird one about dog grooming.  We stood for a while and watched – so boring, but the Council loves them there because no-one else will pay the car parking fees! 

Love you lots Bobby.  See you in the Ring O’Bells one day.  Love Growl

[GrowlTiger]

Oh my goodness what a pure web site this is - will I get a warning for using the name of the restaurant in West Kirby – it really is called the Moby Dick.  I am not being rude – honestly – that’s what it is called. 

[GrowlTiger]

I give up - it really is called the Moby Dick

[dippyhippy]

I believe you, Growl!

 

Try....Moby D!ck...that kind of works!!

[GrowlTiger]

Dippy - How did you mannage to get the web site to accept the word d**k - which was a real name. It kept changing my input.  I clearly have a lot of font learning ahead of me.  

 

On a positive note, however, I hope we have brought Bobby out of the dark side - what do you think?

[dippyhippy]

Oh most definitely!

 

He'll be in the ale house as we speak! His audience will be enthralled as he regales them with wild yarns about cannons, nettles, tame 'raptors and hand reared ferrets, and other brave tales of derring do !

 

(And nobody has questioned the comment I made which called us all Muppets!!)

 

Harmony restored!!

[Roger]

He is a good guy but I think you might be wrong there CVP about him never commenting on this site and that is all I am saying on the matter.

 

That is all ... As you say! ... 

 

This comment is directed at Bobby ... Please use a few more paragraphs as my brain can't cope! ;-)

[bobby47]

What a sh.it day this has been. I got up this morning, staggered downstairs and she handed me my little plastic pot that she pops me morning and nightly medication in. I call it me little plastic pot that I swallow me medication from. She said, ' swallow your pills, drink your tea and don't speak to me until I say it's ok for you to speak'. Course, keen not to get pulverized, I chose to swallow me pills from me little plastic pot that I use to swallow me medication from and kept me mouth shut.

Then, feeling a bit giddy and worse for wear, that initially i put put down to supping twenty pints from the night before, she comes running in and says, 'you've had the wrong tablets. I've given you the nights medication'.

Bloody Hell! I said, 'you rotten old bag. Are you telling me that five minutes ago, at nine in the morning I've just swallowed two diazepam, one statin tablet and two 10mg dose units of Nitrazepam, the worlds widely recognized strongest sleeping pill available on the pharmaceutical market?'. Course, the answer was Yes!

And that was the high point of the rotten day. Thereafter, battling the effects of ale plus the relentless battering the two sleeping tablets delivered to my eyelids as I desperately sought sleep, the whole day quickly developed into a steaming pile of excrement.

Throughout the next few hours, between collapsing into deep sleep and her shouting, 'get up off the floor fatso' I tapped away trying to end my bloody conflict with Ubique and, to keep her happy, I made a valiant attempt to paint the kitchen walls. Course, being out if my mind on medication, through no fault of my own, I managed to paint the kitchen cupboards and the cooker hob with a lovely magnolia undercoat. Course, that resulted in getting hit in the face with the frying pan and being chased outside where I fell asleep hiding in the shed.

Then, she comes up, wakes me from my slumber to tell me the lads are here for a pint. Keen not to upset them and remain in her good books by not being in the same house as her, I staggered down to the Commercial where I lost thirty quid at Three Card Brag and supped another three pints before I collapsed and fell asleep again.

Then, just as the lads were carrying me out of the pub, a Police Officer came ambling down the road resulting in me screaming, 'if he's six foot three, its Inspector Nick Semper and he's likely to be unkind to me.' Good as gold, the lads took me back into the pub, where for no good reason, I managed to get involved in another round of ale.

How I got home I'll never know. When I left that licensed premises it was daylight and the roads were occupied by moderate vehicular traffic. When I opened that front door and shouted, 'honey I'm home', it was dark, the curtains were closed and the bedroom door was locked.

It's been a sh.it day and its the last time I ever try to create a sensible topic for discussion.

[Ubique]

Bobby - Oh no it won't be the last time you try to create a sensible topic for discussion and nor it should be !

[Bambi]

Bloody hell Bobby, you got religion or something? 'I'm afraid I've become a bully'!! You going to change your name to Billy bloody Graham?!

I have a week away with the Mem Sahib at Pontin's, where incidentally, I won through to the finals of the gurning competition before being disqualified because they found out I'd got wind, to find that Bobby's found a conscience.

All the way home I was thinking, 'I wonder what that daft old bu66er Bobby has been ranting about this week', only to find this post.

Come on Bobby, you only put into words things that we lesser mortals think, but haven't got the balls to say. And as for upsetting people, well last time I looked, this was an 'Open Forum', so any one feeling aggrieved has only to log on and register to express their displeasure. I don't know you, but from your posts, I can tell that you are a big enough man to apologise when necessary.

So please, continue to ridicule, lampoon, and generally take the pi55 out of those in authority in your own unique way. You tap it, we will read it!