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Posted

You could look at this one. Click on it to blow it up to a magnificent 2400 x 1591 pixels. What's the story behind the woman's fingernails?

That'll be the Grand Opening of Wiggles in Ledbury, a slimming parlour I believe, that the Mayor ceremoniously launched, replete with Beckham wannabe lookalike, sadly now closed down after just a few months...

Posted

This kind of evasiveness / heavy handed response is breaking out periodically in corrupted official gatherings that have gotten far too big for their little boots.

 

It's going on up and down the country.

 

Their arrogance may indicate undeclared or freemasonic friendships with senior bent coppers which they believe will protect them from pesky, nuisances and 'upstarts' who won't bend or concede to the irregular / unlawful way they prefer to do council business.

 

Please vote them out.

Posted

It says a great deal about modern society when this woman can make a living impersonating Victoria Beckham. I mean, I've no wish to be unkind here but the real Victoria is a size 6. This good woman, who's flamboyant statement to the world seems to me to be, 'I am woman. I am a mystery and I'll leave you all guessing as to the answer and the puzzle to the riddle that is my painted bloody fingernails', is considerable bigger than the real posh rotten spice. Quite simply they don't look anything like one another and quite why the Mayor hired her or married her to cling onto his waistline whilst cutting through the ribbon with his Mayoral scissors is beyond me.

As for the man posing alongside this good woman, granted there is a passing resemblance but I can honestly say I've never in my life seen David Beckham posing before a camera and at the same time developing a slight but visible penis erection.

And the main protagonist in this battle of political wills, the Mayor of Ledbury Bob Barnes? Despite my best efforts he's a difficult one to judge. Not withstanding his odd ears and the clear lack of ear lobes, all I can say is three things. Firstly he's a man, secondly, at some point several years ago he decided to have his left ear pierced probably bang smack in the middle of some midlife crisis where he asked himself, why did I marry a Victoria Beckham impersonator and thirdly and finally, this Mayor hates pain and needles.

Yes he does and I'll be damned if I retract this telling statement that questions Bob's ability to visit the dentist regularly and get his teeth sorted. Bloody zoom in on his photograph, capture his mouth and you'll see that both upper and lower teeth strongly resemble a whole row of crumbling headstones that can be found anywhere in a cometary that's been given no love, care and and attention.

Other than that I've little more to say on the matter.

Posted

A true Bobby appraisal!

 

I'd love you to do all of the annual professional development appraisal...... not a detail slips past your beady eye!

 

Hey, I spotted the 'semi' also. Fell off my chair when Bobby confirmed it.

Posted

For those of you that are keen to know why the David Beckham lookalike is in an obvious state of high arousal and you can be bothered, you can use your fingers or mouse to enlarge the left ear of the Mayor and take a quick gaze into the ear rather than concentrating on his old ear piercing marks, take a look and tell me if you've seen what I've seen.

First one with the answer gets a warm manly embrace from me and a pint of ale if I ever meet you.

Posted

Dippy, you can do this and you can say it. Zoom in really close, study it carefully and say what you see. If I am the only one who can see it and nobody else can then I'm sick and in desperate need of help. Look again. Carefully!

Posted

Ok.

 

I have zoomed.

 

I have studied it very carefully.

 

I am going to say what I see, as suggested.....

 

I can definitely see something. Something pink. And an odd shape.

 

I still don't know what it is though.....!!!

Posted

Bloody hell Bobby!

 

I cannot believe I am spending time staring intently into the left ear of a man I have never met!

 

What is it?????

 

What do you see, O wise one, that us mere mortals cannot????

Posted

Ok my beauties. What we have, from a fully grown mans perspective, is two orbs. Above these two orbs that can quite easily be confused with two pert female buttocks is a line that can easily be seen as a spine. Beneath the two orbs that I'll say are buttocks are two limbs. Legs! And through my ale and diazepam fuelled mind I see anaked filly laid flat upon her tummy in the Mayors left ear.

If I'm right, I'm saying that this Mayor has managed to use the dark arts to shrink a woman and he keeps her in his left ear which is why the Beckham lookalike is in an obvious state of excitement because he's seen the same image as me.

Posted

Err.

 

Like a Borrower????

 

You can see a Borrower..... in their birthday suit?????

 

I'm not sure that in 1952 when Mary Dent penned this charming tale, she ever envisaged them having this sort of adventure!

Posted

Call me an hysterical soothsayer, but there's now no doubt about it. Consider the teeth, the sunglasses that block out the light, the deformed ears and the naked shrunken woman that's embedded in the Mayors left ear, and I say Mayor Barnes is a Warlock or worse, a servant to Lucifer.

Course, if he ain't, and I'm completely barking up the wrong tree then I extend a full and sincere apology to Bob and his family who mat be alarmed by my conclusions.

Posted

Blimey!

 

Might I add they're not the only ones who might be alarmed.

 

Have you considered making an appointment to get your medication reviewed??

 

I hear Taurus could fit you in at a time to suit!

  • 6 months later...
Posted

Interesting goings on at Ledbury again.  Basically Ledbury Town Council have dispensed with the team of volunteers preparing the Neighbourhood Development Plan and voted to hire the services of a Cheltenham based company.  Comments must have been getting a bit hot because HT have now closed commenting on the following article

 
4398139.jpg?type=nile-list&htype=333
Councillors "not made aware" of sports ground discussions

 

 

Remember his face last seen on these pages dress in his mayoral outfit

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